but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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