Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
