You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
