Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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