you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
