His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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