did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
