I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
