please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
