bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
