I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
