I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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