i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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