he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Are my feet made of real feet?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
