Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
