I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
