it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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