I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
