I murdered the dance floor call the cops
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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