addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
