he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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