I hate your face
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
