You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
