Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
