32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
