Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
