I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She's the barista slut.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
