Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
