How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
