I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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