The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
