We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
