He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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