either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
COCAINE IS GR8
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
