he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
