I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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