i need an iv and a liver transplant
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
