I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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