I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
