Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
