I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
