I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
