So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
