I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
