i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
