Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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