I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
