did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
