You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
