she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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