508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
